Hey Dads: This is What Moms Really Want for the Holidays
By J.L. Rose
Hey Dads: This is What Moms Really Want for the Holidays
It’s not a robe or slippers. It’s not the latest cooking or cleaning gadget. That's giving the gift of chores.
Maybe your wife or partner said she doesn't want any gifts at all this year. That’s probably not the full truth.
What moms of infant, toddler or school-aged children really want are the gifts of time, energy and appreciation.
THE GIFT OF TIME
As a mom, I can tell you, there are not enough hours in the day. A recent survey of thousands of women by Her Index showed 48% of women need 3–5 more hours in a day to accomplish what they want.
Moms are also often the ones doing the majority of housework and caregiving -even if she has a job outside the home, according to the Pew Research Center. And, not to scare you, but in the Her Index survey, 52% of respondents considered ending their relationship due to unequal labor at home.
Gifting a mom more time back in her day can be priceless. How can you do that without a time machine? Thanks to gig work and local and online services, it really is possible.
By using paid services to clean the house or do the laundry you’re freeing up hours of time for a mom. Even if you can only afford a service once or a few times a year, say leading up to the big holiday or before your wife or partner’s birthday, that’s still a break for your partner.
Budget-Friendly Alternatives: Give your home a deep clean yourself and contribute to cleaning year-round. If your partner usually does all the laundry, start doing the laundry more. The more often you do this, the better the gift. Romantic Twist: Make it fun and fold the laundry together while streaming a show you both enjoy.
THE GIFT OF ENERGY (AND REST)
Many moms are sleep deprived, especially moms with children under 2, according to researchers at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.
Gift her a night alone at a nice hotel in your hometown and give her the freedom to get a good night’s rest. But don’t stop there. Creating regular opportunities for moms to get guilt-free rest, including naps during the day, can really improve her overall well-being.
For most moms, their to-do list also never ends. From the class party treats to the school fundraiser to Spirit Week to Teacher Appreciation Week – the list keeps growing. With a local or online service, you can hire a personal assistant for individual errands and tasks.
When a mom has young children, going to the grocery store can be overwhelming, sometimes for the kids, sometimes for the moms. If you can help by getting the groceries delivered, you’ve saved her physical and mental energy. If you can afford a meal delivery service, you’re also helping to reduce prep and cooking time in the kitchen. Just read the meal nutrition facts closely before choosing a service – many can be very high in sodium or unhealthy in other ways – that way you and your family can stay healthy.
Budget-Friendly Alternatives: For rest, give your wife or partner the gift of a nap this holiday season and year-round by making sure she has the time and space to rest. To more equally share the mental load, ask your wife what’s on her to-do list and take half the items off for her. Put them on your calendar and take care of them. For groceries, take turns getting the groceries, have the kids stay with you while she goes to the store, or meal prep to take more off her plate. You can spend a day making casseroles, soups and stews or bulk-cooking proteins and sides and then add them to the freezer. Keep in mind, if it’s not food she and the kids will eat, it’s not really a gift.
THE GIFT OF APPRECIATION
Sometimes moms feel like the work they do is invisible. Research shows that moms are more likely doing most of household chores, but they are also more likely to be carrying “the mental load.”
Moms are more likely to handle all the things: birthday party planning, holiday gift shopping, school homework and class projects, kids’ doctor's appointments and dental checkups, signing and turning in permission slips, summer camp registration, what each child eats and won’t eat, and on and on and on.
Much of this effort can go unnoticed, but it requires a lot of energy and planning. She probably doesn’t mind doing it all. She does it because she loves her family. But it could mean a lot if someone noticed and appreciated her time and effort. That someone could be you.
You can show you appreciate her with a special gift like engraved jewelry, or arranging something unique, like a family photoshoot. Just make sure they get photos of her by herself – she deserves to feel beautiful and special as an individual. And make sure to get some mother-child photos, too. Chances are most of the photos she has with her kids in everyday experiences are selfies
Budget-Friendly Alternative: Take photos of your wife or partner with her kids. Chances are most of the photos she has with her kids are selfies. Capture the everyday moments when she’s laughing or playing with her kids – don't wait for milestones. Make a photo album from all the photos you took – a real album with printed photos. I know, it’s very vintage. Another alternative is writing her a handwritten letter expressing all the things you appreciate about her and have the kids write letters, too. Framing them takes it to the next level. You could also make a video of you and the kids sharing what you love about her.
But Don’t Stop There
Give your wife or partner something nice to use with the free time and energy you’ve helped create.
A Board Game: Choose a board game you know she enjoyed as a kid so she can share it with her own children. With more time and energy she can take a break and just enjoy being with her kids. For a romantic twist, throw in a fun adult or couple’s game you can play together after the kids go to sleep.
A Book: A book you know she’s been wanting to read or a memoir by one of her favorite celebrities. The trick is choosing a book that shows you know who she is and what interests her. For a romantic twist, read to her. I'm willing to bet she reads to the kids all the time. Read to her for a change, so she can just sit back and relax. Bonus Points: Add in a foot rub.
A Spa Gift Card: A gift card for relaxation and an energy reset because most moms get less than 30 minutes a day for themselves. According to the Her Index survey, 58% of women have a hard time finding time for self-care. For a romantic twist, give her a scalp massage at home. A scalp massage can lower stress, blood pressure and heart rate in women.
A Break: Encourage her to build regular breaks into her schedule, so she has time for herself, her friends and her interests. Support this by giving her a gift card to take her friends to the new local restaurant or getting her a membership to a local organization that algins with her hobbies or interests. This is important because 70% of moms have found motherhood to be lonelier than they expected, according to the 2025 State of Motherhood Report by Motherly.
And one final tip: If you celebrate Christmas, your partner's stocking better be filled to the brim with all the things you know she loves – maybe her favorite candy; maybe her favorite nail polish or perfume; a lipstick, lip-gloss or lip balm; gloves or a hat if it fits your climate; an extra charger; pens; or the hand cream you know she likes.
If your stocking has more in it than hers, you have failed.
The holidays can be a magical time. Moms are often the ones making the magic for everyone else. This holiday season, take time to show you really care for your partner by making sure she’s part of the magic, too.
Hey Dads: What Moms Really Want for the Holidays| Gift Guide for Moms | Storytime for Moms
J.L. Rose, MA is a mom, communications expert and storyteller with more than 20 years of experience in journalism, strategic communications and education. She has been published by Scary Mommy, StepMom Magazine and more. She is creator of the Storytime for Moms brand and YouTube channel, a grown-up storytelling space for women who want to laugh, feel seen or escape for 10 minutes. The channel is dedicated to giving moms a well-deserved break for themselves in a space where moms support moms and it’s all about self-care.